I've been listening to this on repeat... Mmm.
Saturday, February 16
Saturday, January 19
I apologize for a post written in a coffee shop listening to a musician (from Scotland) singing Coldplay cover songs... haha... well, one Coldplay song along with other covers and originals...
When I was home last, I flipped through an old journal. I'm really inconsistent at journaling... I usually get sick of a journal before I finish it. It's been years since the rambling Dear Diary days of finishedjournals... diaries.
And, I've noticed, and mentioned in my writing before, that I often tend to scribble away when I'm frustrated or sad.. making my journals reveal a whiny, melancholy individual. Another reason why I always got sick of the journal before it was finished... I need to get better at chronicling my wins!
All this to say, as I flipped through an old journal, I read an entry from 2009. The topic was relevant, my feelings on the topic the same. I couldn't understand the purpose of something in 2009. And, four years later, it's still like a broken pencil.... no point! heh.
You know how Tennyson said Tis better have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? There's that moment of bitter rejection of it. And, slowly, its swallowed up in thankfulness and blessing. Because eventually, most people we meet and things we experience are worth it (in hindsight).
(As a disclaimer, I'm not saying that starvation is worth it, witnessing murder is worth it, etc.... I do believe that God can bring beauty from ashes, but I'm not telling you that you should be rejoicing if something horrific happens to you or your family.)
Because of my past, I have an assurance that the future will make the present worth it. But I know, it's so, so hard to make draining investments. We expect returns, interest, purpose. Whether its putting time into a project, job, person, or place, we expect an outcome. And its hard when there's nothing.
I suppose its the optimist in me... I've decided I'm one. I'm sure my mind could be changed, I'm only 24.... but throughout my life I've seen the purpose in the things that have happened and the people I have met. And, I believe that all things can work together for good. So here's my hopeful claim that the 2009 journal entry will have a purpose.... even if it doesn't reveal itself until 2019.... :)
When I was home last, I flipped through an old journal. I'm really inconsistent at journaling... I usually get sick of a journal before I finish it. It's been years since the rambling Dear Diary days of finished
And, I've noticed, and mentioned in my writing before, that I often tend to scribble away when I'm frustrated or sad.. making my journals reveal a whiny, melancholy individual. Another reason why I always got sick of the journal before it was finished... I need to get better at chronicling my wins!
All this to say, as I flipped through an old journal, I read an entry from 2009. The topic was relevant, my feelings on the topic the same. I couldn't understand the purpose of something in 2009. And, four years later, it's still like a broken pencil.... no point! heh.
You know how Tennyson said Tis better have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? There's that moment of bitter rejection of it. And, slowly, its swallowed up in thankfulness and blessing. Because eventually, most people we meet and things we experience are worth it (in hindsight).
(As a disclaimer, I'm not saying that starvation is worth it, witnessing murder is worth it, etc.... I do believe that God can bring beauty from ashes, but I'm not telling you that you should be rejoicing if something horrific happens to you or your family.)
Because of my past, I have an assurance that the future will make the present worth it. But I know, it's so, so hard to make draining investments. We expect returns, interest, purpose. Whether its putting time into a project, job, person, or place, we expect an outcome. And its hard when there's nothing.
I suppose its the optimist in me... I've decided I'm one. I'm sure my mind could be changed, I'm only 24.... but throughout my life I've seen the purpose in the things that have happened and the people I have met. And, I believe that all things can work together for good. So here's my hopeful claim that the 2009 journal entry will have a purpose.... even if it doesn't reveal itself until 2019.... :)
Friday, January 11
I'm not great at trends and traditions.. but after seeing this story in the news, I thought it would be kinda cool to mention heros weekly every so often.
"Ryan Heber is being recognized as a hero as news gets out that he is reportedly the teacher who brought an end to the Taft Union High School shooting Thursday morning in Taft, Calif. despite being hit in the end by a shotgun pellet. Heber, a science teacher at the school, reportedly joined a Taft Union campus supervisor in calmly talking the shooter into putting his gun down, after which he was arrested."
Full story HERE
"Ryan Heber is being recognized as a hero as news gets out that he is reportedly the teacher who brought an end to the Taft Union High School shooting Thursday morning in Taft, Calif. despite being hit in the end by a shotgun pellet. Heber, a science teacher at the school, reportedly joined a Taft Union campus supervisor in calmly talking the shooter into putting his gun down, after which he was arrested."
Full story HERE
Monday, January 7
"Father God, I am clay in your hands
help me to stay that way".............
I'm blessed. I started in a house that was really consistent. Other houses were having demanding upsets and changes, and Pine was steadily moving along. All the residents had been here awhile, knew the rules, knew the consequences. A few months in, we got a new resident. It was a change, but a smooth addition... and life at Pine House went on.
Now, I've been here 5 months... and 3 residents left at once (within days/weeks of each other). And, sometimes they leave under positive circumstances, sometimes not. But there is always the thought that they may have not learned anything, they'll just resort back to the old individuals they were.
And its hard. Its hard saying goodbye, not because it may be goodbye for this lifetime, but it may be a goodbye forever. I pray that Jesus means something to them and that Jesus will affect their lives. I can't bear the thought that they'll reject Him..... I hate that they may not be in Heaven. And, it brings up so many more frustrating thoughts.... like... why was Jesus revealed for me? why do I get to go to Heaven? how could God ever send **** to hell? (such a melancholy post!)
I know the solution - having faith that God is high above me, all-knowing, all-just. Yet, that thought doesn't satisfy me sometimes.
I guess it all comes as a part of getting attached to a few teenagers on probation. I'm thankful my heart isn't calloused yet although sometimes I wish it was... the goodbyes would affect me less!
I'll miss.... George Washington.
This is so good I haven't even tried it yet!
Bomb.com, bomb.edu, bomb.net
Gasp!
Visiting the mad cows and little pigs.
BIIIIIG DEEEEEAL!
A caterpillar (turned butterfly) named Pokey.
Last name Awesome, first name This Is.
Timed bike rides to Dollar General.
Two-two!
My first 2-on-1 to get a Rickers.
Guess what..... chicken butt.
And I'll have faith... faith that the experiences ahead will mean as much as the ones in the past. I'm thankful that I'm able to have upset. Because I have this feeling that upset brings growth.
help me to stay that way".............
I'm blessed. I started in a house that was really consistent. Other houses were having demanding upsets and changes, and Pine was steadily moving along. All the residents had been here awhile, knew the rules, knew the consequences. A few months in, we got a new resident. It was a change, but a smooth addition... and life at Pine House went on.
Now, I've been here 5 months... and 3 residents left at once (within days/weeks of each other). And, sometimes they leave under positive circumstances, sometimes not. But there is always the thought that they may have not learned anything, they'll just resort back to the old individuals they were.
And its hard. Its hard saying goodbye, not because it may be goodbye for this lifetime, but it may be a goodbye forever. I pray that Jesus means something to them and that Jesus will affect their lives. I can't bear the thought that they'll reject Him..... I hate that they may not be in Heaven. And, it brings up so many more frustrating thoughts.... like... why was Jesus revealed for me? why do I get to go to Heaven? how could God ever send **** to hell? (such a melancholy post!)
I know the solution - having faith that God is high above me, all-knowing, all-just. Yet, that thought doesn't satisfy me sometimes.
I guess it all comes as a part of getting attached to a few teenagers on probation. I'm thankful my heart isn't calloused yet although sometimes I wish it was... the goodbyes would affect me less!
I'll miss.... George Washington.
This is so good I haven't even tried it yet!
Bomb.com, bomb.edu, bomb.net
Gasp!
Visiting the mad cows and little pigs.
BIIIIIG DEEEEEAL!
A caterpillar (turned butterfly) named Pokey.
Last name Awesome, first name This Is.
Timed bike rides to Dollar General.
Two-two!
My first 2-on-1 to get a Rickers.
Guess what..... chicken butt.
And I'll have faith... faith that the experiences ahead will mean as much as the ones in the past. I'm thankful that I'm able to have upset. Because I have this feeling that upset brings growth.
Saturday, December 1
Today I sat in a room as a spiritual battle was fought. I felt the pressure stifling the room. And I felt pressure to say something... something perfect. Isn't there a checklist for leading someone to Christ?
I was overwhelmed by my own imperfections.. my own lack of words. I prayed in broken sentences. I prayed for the broken individual as he fell apart in front of me. And then he spoke the words.
"I think it's time." His voice wavered, his shoulders shook. And ever so slowly, the straps of his burden loosened. Who knew a tear stained face with a snotty nose could be so beautiful?
Surrender. The most difficult step we ever leap.
Today, I heard an atheist ask God to take control of his life. It's overwhelming. I can't comprehend it. But I'm so thankful that I had no perfect words. I'm so thankful that all the work was so evidently done by the Spirit.
And at Gateway, we can become calloused. How long will this change last? We have a hard time believing once we've been so educated in deceit. But we must not stop believing in the Spirit. He's surely alive.
And once we've experienced a taste, the ordinary is so ordinary. Please pray for the Spirit to continue, and for discernment to know the Spirit.
I was overwhelmed by my own imperfections.. my own lack of words. I prayed in broken sentences. I prayed for the broken individual as he fell apart in front of me. And then he spoke the words.
"I think it's time." His voice wavered, his shoulders shook. And ever so slowly, the straps of his burden loosened. Who knew a tear stained face with a snotty nose could be so beautiful?
Surrender. The most difficult step we ever leap.
Today, I heard an atheist ask God to take control of his life. It's overwhelming. I can't comprehend it. But I'm so thankful that I had no perfect words. I'm so thankful that all the work was so evidently done by the Spirit.
And at Gateway, we can become calloused. How long will this change last? We have a hard time believing once we've been so educated in deceit. But we must not stop believing in the Spirit. He's surely alive.
And once we've experienced a taste, the ordinary is so ordinary. Please pray for the Spirit to continue, and for discernment to know the Spirit.
Monday, November 12
This is my method.... For some reason, I feel like a recipe is so much healthier if you add healthy elements. I mean, it isn't true that if you eat 20 carrots with your pizza, it makes the pizza any healthier, but... it just makes it seem healthier! But, of course, along with adding healthy things to cookies, I try to cut back on the sugar, add whole wheat, etc etc etc.... :)
So if you ever come over for dinner, if you look closely at any baked goods (breads, cookies, muffins, biscuits, bars, etc.), you may see some.... flaxseed.
And, when frying hamburger, it's always great to throw some..... spinach in with the onions.
Spinach hides super well in lasagna, chili, and my favorite, spinach smoothies! Ok, so the color of spinach doesn't hide well in smoothies. But, the taste is pretty well disguised. I even tested it by serving all of Pine House spinach smoothies... and after some complaint about the bright green color, the smoothies disappeared.
My favorite is spinach, orange juice, banana, peaches, pineapple and yogurt. But, you can pretty much add any variety - I've just found the sweetness of tropical fruits cancels out the bitterness of the spinach. If you don't have a great blender, I've found its easiest to blend the spinach and orange juice first and then add the rest. Its better to have chunks of fruit than chunks of spinach! :) Oh! and the great news?... you can add flaxseed to the spinach smoothie to make it uber healthy!!
So, these are some of my methods. If you'd rather eat a spinach salad, go for it! I do like salad.. but its so simple to just drink a nutritious smoothie. And, here are reasons why spinach is good for you.
So if you ever come over for dinner, if you look closely at any baked goods (breads, cookies, muffins, biscuits, bars, etc.), you may see some.... flaxseed.
And, when frying hamburger, it's always great to throw some..... spinach in with the onions.
Spinach hides super well in lasagna, chili, and my favorite, spinach smoothies! Ok, so the color of spinach doesn't hide well in smoothies. But, the taste is pretty well disguised. I even tested it by serving all of Pine House spinach smoothies... and after some complaint about the bright green color, the smoothies disappeared.
My favorite is spinach, orange juice, banana, peaches, pineapple and yogurt. But, you can pretty much add any variety - I've just found the sweetness of tropical fruits cancels out the bitterness of the spinach. If you don't have a great blender, I've found its easiest to blend the spinach and orange juice first and then add the rest. Its better to have chunks of fruit than chunks of spinach! :) Oh! and the great news?... you can add flaxseed to the spinach smoothie to make it uber healthy!!
So, these are some of my methods. If you'd rather eat a spinach salad, go for it! I do like salad.. but its so simple to just drink a nutritious smoothie. And, here are reasons why spinach is good for you.
