Mysterious Ways..

I read the book.. well, I listened to the book I've Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has: Mishaps and Miracles on the Road to Happily Ever After on Audible. The author, Mandy Hale, is more commonly known as The Single Woman… and in the book she recounts colorful, often ridiculous, stories from her life. 

I really like the overall theme of the book - that God has a plan. However, Mandy Hale speaks of a God that I tend to question. For instance, Mandy speaks of childhood dreams - kissing Donnie Wahlberg and meeting Oprah. When these dreams came to fruition, Mandy gave all the credit to God. I see God differently than that… does God really give us the desires of our heart to show his love at times? 

I've always based my opinions in the belief that if we have ridiculous dreams like that, instead of fulfilling them, God changes them. Yet, of course, whenever I think I understand God, He reminds me that I don't know everything.

For example, a few years ago I was on a mission trip in Alabama. We met a very eccentric guy on the trip, Jason. Jason believes in a God who involves Himself in every single aspect of our lives. If you don't know where to go to dinner, pray about it. I thought this was a little over the top.. and although I could see Christ's love radiating from Jason, I questioned. That week my allergies attacked me in full force. We ran to Walmart and I stood, staring at rows of pill bottles as my head swam with congestion. How on earth do I decide between allergy medications? I really want something that will work.. does it really matter which one I get? Wait. If I was Jason, I would pray about it. I half-heartedly prayed about which medication I should purchase… and the next thing I knew, a lady walked into the aisle with a huge coupon book. 

"I have a coupon for Zyrtec if you'd like it" -she announced.

Earlier this year, a couple got engaged… and as is typical for ACs, the engagement story was pretty radical. Heh. The girl spoke enthusiastically as she described how many times the guy's name had appeared throughout her day. Because his name kept popping up, she knew that he was the one. 

It doesn't help that I'm cynical and sarcastic to begin with :) …. but engagement stories like this make me cringe. If you have a proposal from a guy, of course you're going to notice whenever you hear that name! So, I again mocked that God could work in such a manner. The next day, I heard the name of a guy (Titus*) I liked repeatedly. The next day in church, during the morning service I wondered in the minister would mention Titus. Well, the name isn't in the Bible much so I doubt he'll read about it. He didn't. But when I was completely unaware during afternoon service, I looked over at the book my resident was reading. 

Chapter 5: Titus

And, recently I read the book by The Single Woman. I again doubted the ways that God can work. I'm sure that God can touch our lives in small ways every day to remind us of His love. But, I know that I have faith so I don't really need any radical signs. However, I would like to meet a famous person.. so that'd be great if I could meet a famous person.

Sunday evening I was on duty so I walked down to the barn to pray on the step. I sat down and looked up and there sat a praying mantis staring at me… all prepared for the prayer meeting. 

Tuesday afternoon, I checked Twitter to see that Mike Donehey was going to be at Sweetwater playing a free acoustic show. We decided that as alternative houseparents this was a perfect way to use our time wisely… and so we went. We missed the show but got to meet Mike Donehey. 

I guess my point in all of this is that we cannot limit the ways that God can work. We don't need dramatic displays of rainbows and miraculous miracles.. but beware when you challenge Him. Because no matter how He is working, He is STILL working. 

Posted by sarenaw in

Mysterious Ways..

tilt, march 6

Eating -> kale, romaine, spinach w/ tomato, parmesan, olive oil, apple cider vinegar
Listening to -> Bastille's Bad Blood, especially the song Pompeii on repeat!

melting snow | sriracha | the combination of denim & tulle | peppercorn grinders | cilantro | grilling in near freezing weather | ruffles

tilt

Posted by sarenaw in tilt

tilt, march 6

This time for Africa!

Every so often it hits me... I went to Africa. Africa! It's crazy how quickly dreams and lofty planning turned into reality. I feel like I couldn't soak it all in. Of course, certain parts of it failed to meet expectations and I complained a lot more than I should have. But........

The vehicles were crowded...... and the van trips long! Picture being stuffed in the back of a van (the very back seat) for 13 hours! Thankfully, I was able to sleep some.. awakening only to stuff back luggage that tumbled down onto me. But, I have to mention that Janessa and I were the only ones who survived the back seat, without complaint, for 13 hours!

But, the people were beautiful... and they treated us like celebrities. So many of them wanting to be photographed with us. So many adorable kids... and they play soccer :)

And the animals crazy! I love elephants - and got to see tons. We also got to see a lion in the wild! This was amazing because when we began the safari, they told us there weren't any lions.

At the end of the day.... it was Africa. And, I learned a lot. Some of it took quite awhile to sink in... that's what happens when you don't prepare yourself enough ahead of time I think. But I feel so blessed to have been able to experience the adventure.

Posted by sarenaw in

This time for Africa!

Listen to with headphones...

music

Posted by sarenaw in music

Listen to with headphones...

tidbits, oct 16

The real life Ken Doll, interesting! And sad how focused he is on the outward appearance.

My friend contributes to this blog featuring some of the best places in Jacksonville!

tidbits

Posted by sarenaw in tidbits

tidbits, oct 16

After 365 days...

1 year. 
5 residents moved on. 
-1 pregnant. 
-1 locked up in boy's school. 
-1 always questionable. 
-1 master manipulator. 
-1 seemingly doing well....

And, then I was reminded yesterday that:  "But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully." (2 Corinthians 9:6)

Sometimes I get frustrated that I don't see changes happening after investing so much into someone. But, how much am I investing? 

A resident was supposed to be released in May, but instead he stayed here until last week (July). And, suddenly it hit me. How many relevant conversations did I have with him in those 2 months? I was given 2 extra months with him.. and I barely used those months at all! 

We can get frustrated because we feel like we pour out so much... but how much are we really sowing? I've invested in the lives of 5 residents who have all now moved on. And, I can get discouraged because out of all the seeds the Gateway team sowed, nothing seems to be growing. But to reap bountifully, we must sow bountifully. 

I think we expect to get as much as we give, which is legitimate according to this verse, but sometimes we (I) overestimate how much is being given. In my own life, I was raised in  Christian home with truth surrounding me... so many seeds sown.. and it still took me 20 years to make a profession of faith. I forget that. I forget that and expect residents to be at that same place after 5-9 months of hearing the truth. 

I guess hearing this verse was just a reminder to me that I need to invest more, and invest more freely. Just as my own mom spent (and spends:) so many hours praying for my  life, I need to pray for the lives of the residents. Because if I care enough for these residents that I'm brought to tears for the future of the souls, there's another promise: "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy" (Psalm 126:5)

Invest freely.. because so much has been invested in you. 

Posted by sarenaw in

After 365 days...

all or nothing

A rainy day seems like a good day for baking... I'm not sure why I think this. Maybe delicious fragrances emitting from the oven make the kitchen cheerier?

But in baking, I'm all or nothing most days. I either go all out and bake multiple things... or I don't feel like baking at all. I guess my theory is that once the KitchenAid is ready, it's simpler to use it, rinse, reuse, rinse, reuse. This is sanitary, right?.....

In the oven today:

My go-to banana bread recipe. If I'm in a mood where I care, I add half whole wheat flour, cut the sugar, and add flax seed :)

Also, I've made these pumpkin chai bars quite frequently.. as we don't have any pumpkin puree, I'm going with this recipe instead.

Cowboy cookies - extra to freeze!

Well.. I'm off to drink my coconut chai and throw put more things in the oven (or on the stove :)

P.S. 
Healthy cookies! These are made with banana, oatmeal and chocolate chips. Such a great substitute if you'd like something sweet without the sugar. And, they're pretty tasty straight from the oven (they don't do as well

Posted by sarenaw in

all or nothing

Recently discovered: Jimmy Needham

I've been listening to this on repeat... Mmm.

 

music

Posted by sarenaw in music

Recently discovered: Jimmy Needham

Hey, a glass half full!...

I apologize for a post written in a coffee shop listening to a musician (from Scotland) singing Coldplay cover songs... haha... well, one Coldplay song along with other covers and originals...


When I was home last, I flipped through an old journal. I'm really inconsistent at journaling... I usually get sick of a journal before I finish it. It's been years since the rambling Dear Diary days of finished journals... diaries.

And, I've noticed, and mentioned in my writing before, that I often tend to scribble away when I'm frustrated or sad.. making my journals reveal a whiny, melancholy individual.  Another reason why I always got sick of the journal before it was finished... I need to get better at chronicling my wins!

All this to say, as I flipped through an old journal, I read an entry from 2009. The topic was relevant, my feelings on the topic the same. I couldn't understand the purpose of something in 2009. And, four years later, it's still like a broken pencil.... no point! heh.

You know how Tennyson said Tis better have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? There's that moment of bitter rejection of it. And, slowly, its swallowed up in thankfulness and blessing. Because eventually, most people we meet and things we experience are worth it (in hindsight).

(As a disclaimer, I'm not saying that starvation is worth it, witnessing murder is worth it, etc.... I do believe that God can bring beauty from ashes, but I'm not telling you that you should be rejoicing if something horrific happens to you or your family.)

Because of my past, I have an assurance that the future will make the present worth it. But I know, it's so, so hard to make draining investments. We expect returns, interest, purpose. Whether its putting time into a project, job, person, or place, we expect an outcome. And its hard when there's nothing.

I suppose its the optimist in me... I've decided I'm one. I'm sure my mind could be changed, I'm only 24.... but throughout my life I've seen the purpose in the things that have happened and the people I have met. And, I believe that all things can work together for good. So here's my hopeful claim that the 2009 journal entry will have a purpose.... even if it doesn't reveal itself until 2019.... :)

Posted by sarenaw in

Hey, a glass half full!...

hero, January 11

I'm not great at trends and traditions.. but after seeing this story in the news, I thought it would be kinda cool to mention heros weekly every so often.

"Ryan Heber is being recognized as a hero as news gets out that he is reportedly the teacher who brought an end to the Taft Union High School shooting Thursday morning in Taft, Calif. despite being hit in the end by a shotgun pellet. Heber, a science teacher at the school, reportedly joined a Taft Union campus supervisor in calmly talking the shooter into putting his gun down, after which he was arrested."

Full story HERE

Posted by sarenaw in

hero, January 11

Comfortable being Uncomfortable

"Father God, I am clay in your hands
help me to stay that way".............

I'm blessed. I started in a house that was really consistent. Other houses were having demanding upsets and changes, and Pine was steadily moving along. All the residents had been here awhile, knew the rules, knew the consequences. A few months in, we got a new resident. It was a change, but a smooth addition... and life at Pine House went on.

Now, I've been here 5 months... and 3 residents left at once (within days/weeks of each other). And, sometimes they leave under positive circumstances, sometimes not. But there is always the thought that they may have not learned anything, they'll just resort back to the old individuals they were.

And its hard. Its hard saying goodbye, not because it may be goodbye for this lifetime, but it may be a goodbye forever. I pray that Jesus means something to them and that Jesus will affect their lives. I can't bear the thought that they'll reject Him..... I hate that they may not be in Heaven. And, it brings up so many more frustrating thoughts.... like... why was Jesus revealed for me? why do I get to go to Heaven? how could God ever send **** to hell? (such a melancholy post!)

I know the solution - having faith that God is high above me, all-knowing, all-just. Yet, that thought doesn't satisfy me sometimes.

I guess it all comes as a part of getting attached to a few teenagers on probation. I'm thankful my heart isn't calloused yet although sometimes I wish it was... the goodbyes would affect me less!

I'll miss.... George Washington.  
This is so good I haven't even tried it yet!
Bomb.com, bomb.edu, bomb.net  
Gasp! 
Visiting the mad cows and little pigs.  
BIIIIIG DEEEEEAL!
A caterpillar (turned butterfly) named Pokey.  
Last name Awesome, first name This Is.
Timed bike rides to Dollar General.
Two-two!
My first 2-on-1 to get a Rickers.  
Guess what..... chicken butt.

And I'll have faith... faith that the experiences ahead will mean as much as the ones in the past. I'm thankful that I'm able to have upset. Because I have this feeling that upset brings growth.

Posted by sarenaw in

Comfortable being Uncomfortable

He's surely alive

Today I sat in a room as a spiritual battle was fought. I felt the pressure stifling the room. And I felt pressure to say something... something perfect. Isn't there a checklist for leading someone to Christ?

I was overwhelmed by my own imperfections.. my own lack of words. I prayed in broken sentences. I prayed for the broken individual as he fell apart in front of me. And then he spoke the words.

"I think it's time." His voice wavered, his shoulders shook. And ever so slowly, the straps of his burden loosened. Who knew a tear stained face with a snotty nose could be so beautiful?

Surrender. The most difficult step we ever leap.

Today, I heard an atheist ask God to take control of his life. It's overwhelming. I can't comprehend it. But I'm so thankful that I had no perfect words. I'm so thankful that all the work was so evidently done by the Spirit.

And at Gateway, we can become calloused. How long will this change last? We have a hard time believing once we've been so educated in deceit. But we must not stop believing in the Spirit. He's surely alive.

And once we've experienced a taste, the ordinary is so ordinary. Please pray for the Spirit to continue, and for discernment to know the Spirit.

Posted by sarenaw in

He's surely alive

hidden healthys

This is my method.... For some reason, I feel like a recipe is so much healthier if you add healthy elements. I mean, it isn't true that if you eat 20 carrots with your pizza, it makes the pizza any healthier, but... it just makes it seem healthier! But, of course, along with adding healthy things to cookies, I try to cut back on the sugar, add whole wheat, etc etc etc.... :)

So if you ever come over for dinner, if you look closely at any baked goods (breads, cookies, muffins, biscuits, bars, etc.), you may see some.... flaxseed.

And, when frying hamburger, it's always great to throw some..... spinach in with the onions.

Spinach hides super well in lasagna, chili, and my favorite, spinach smoothies! Ok, so the color of spinach doesn't hide well in smoothies. But, the taste is pretty well disguised. I even tested it by serving all of Pine House spinach smoothies... and after some complaint about the bright green color, the smoothies disappeared.

My favorite is spinach, orange juice, banana, peaches, pineapple and yogurt. But, you can pretty much add any variety - I've just found the sweetness of tropical fruits cancels out the bitterness of the spinach. If you don't have a great blender, I've found its easiest to blend the spinach and orange juice first and then add the rest. Its better to have chunks of fruit than chunks of spinach! :) Oh! and the great news?... you can add flaxseed to the spinach smoothie to make it uber healthy!!

So, these are some of my methods. If you'd rather eat a spinach salad, go for it! I do like salad.. but its so simple to just drink a nutritious smoothie. And, here are reasons why spinach is good for you.

Posted by sarenaw in

hidden healthys

things i love thursday, october 25

jersey knit skirts | finding the coziest leather loveseat | tea with honey | the colors of fall - they must be more amazing this year, or I forgot how amazing they were last year (I post a lot about fall) | leggings | bench pressing.. haha maybe

not: the sun going down so early (7 pm??!)

tilt

Posted by sarenaw in tilt

things i love thursday, october 25

tidbits, oct 16

First off, you've probably all already heard of Felix Baumgartner. If not, here's what he did...

And, here is why he's important....

Yep, cause he looks like Mark Wahlberg! :)    (Felix in the top photo, Mark in bottom)

other interesting tidbits:

lack of zzzzzzz's = gain of p's according to abc! (p is pounds... i just thought it should rhyme :)

one of my friends just launched a line at shabby apple with the cutest name ever, all aboard

tidbits

Posted by sarenaw in tidbits

tidbits, oct 16

lychee

First off, the weather today is amazing! It's the kind of weather where I just want to bask in it! On to tea...

definition: litchi: Chinese fruit having a thin brittle shell enclosing a sweet jellylike pulp and a single seed; often dried.

Last night, on a Meijer run, I found this.... lychee coconut...

And, if you're a fan of bubble teas, you may like this! I made the tea, iced it and mixed it with some coconut milk - it's pretty delicious. There isn't a strong tea taste at all, just a light coconut taste. Best of all, it's for radiant skin! (I'll let you know if my skin glows:)

Let me know if you've tried this.. or if you have any better ways to mix it versus just ice and coconut milk.

Posted by sarenaw in

lychee

things i love thursday, september 6

pumpkin spiced coffee | watching 12 baby pigs be born (grossest and most amazing thing I've ever seen) | everything fall - as I post every fall | concord grape apple cider vinegar | festivals | katelyn | actually running a distance at a decent speed (decent for now) | garage sales | coffee mugs | molasses

tilt

Posted by sarenaw in tilt

things i love thursday, september 6

cause if you never leave home

As with before, somehow the lyrics of needtobreathe have encouraged me along with where I am in life! :)

If you could soldier on
Headstrong into the storm
I’ll be here waiting on the other side
Don’t look back
The road is long
The first days of the war are gone
Take back your former throne and turn the tide

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love

Just past the circumstance
The first light, a second chance
No child could ever dance the way you do, oh
Tear down the prison walls
Don’t start the curtain call
Your chains will never fall until you do

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love

Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
The weight is unbroken
Open up
Open up
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open

Don’t let the night become the day
Don’t take the darkness to the grave
I know pain is just a place
The will has been broken
Don’t let the fear become the hate
Don’t take the sadness to the grave
I know the fight is on the way
When the sides have been chosen

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown 
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love

Keep your eyes (Keep your eyes open)

music

Posted by sarenaw in music

cause if you never leave home

short short

I've realized lately how often I overlook the little things. Awhile back I tried to start blogging with themes for different days and, I think I should go back to that - at least, go back to the Things I Love Thursdays.

So many times I take the time to pray, as in pray for things or pray for people. But, I forget to just spend time in worship. I forget to just stand in awe of God and worship.

And, this is a super short post. But just an update to say that hopefully there were soon be more updates of me noting the little things that I love and make me thankful!

Posted by sarenaw in

short short

good answer!

(I don't even think he put that much thought into it but...)

I mentioned to Q that I might go to Gateway, and he was like, "Good!"
I was like, "Oh.. you want me to leave??!"

And, he said, "I want you to grow"


I think that's kinda what its all about :)

Posted by sarenaw in

good answer!